Ep38 Eric Moore - The Hidden Superpower of Quiet People in Leadership

00:00:00:02 - 00:00:02:21
Suzanne Taylor-King
and I think every entrepreneur should go through that.

00:00:02:21 - 00:00:15:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
Every leader, every human should go through that process of learning to turn down the internal chatter so that the external world becomes more open to you.

00:00:15:09 - 00:00:41:13
Suzanne Taylor-King
Hey, hey. Welcome to a podcast where dreams meet. Determination and success is just around the corner. I'm your host, Suzanne Taylor King. And I'm here to help you unlock the full potential of your business and your life. Welcome to Unlock Your Way with SDK. Let's unlock your path to success together.

00:00:41:13 - 00:01:13:03
Suzanne Taylor-King
Good morning everyone. It's Suzanne Taylor King here for another episode of Unlock Your Way with STK. And we are here today with a new friend of mine, Eric Moore. Immediately I knew that this coach was somebody I wanted to have a conversation with. Not only is he a coach for introverts and leadership, but he's got a fabulous background.

00:01:13:03 - 00:01:28:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
The black wall I just I just love it. And number two, his website just stood out to me with so much energy and positivity. Eric, welcome to the show.

00:01:28:13 - 00:01:33:00
Eric Moore
Thank you. You know, when you said background, I thought you meant my professional background.

00:01:33:02 - 00:01:36:10
Suzanne Taylor-King
Oh, no, wait, we don't need to talk about that.

00:01:36:12 - 00:01:41:00
Eric Moore
And it's real. It's real. It's not. Yeah, a lot of people think it's a virtual one, but,

00:01:41:02 - 00:01:45:18
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. Well, did somebody decorate that for you or did you design it?

00:01:45:20 - 00:02:01:00
Eric Moore
Yeah. Yep. My, wife helped me paint it, but, yeah, we. I put it together. Had something in mind. I watched enough YouTube videos to see, you know. Oh, that's how you paint a room properly.

00:02:01:02 - 00:02:24:17
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes, I love it. Yeah, I love it. Well. Well done. Today we're going to talk a little bit about The Introverted Leader, and I'd love to dive into how you got started. Not only with this mission, with this niche of people. How did it really start for you?

00:02:24:19 - 00:02:53:17
Eric Moore
E well, it's two parts. One of which is that there was a realization, in my early years that I had been an introvert hiding in an extroverts clothing. What I mean by that is, I have a family of lots of extroverts. You know, loud storytellers and gregarious and always the life of the party. And I couldn't keep up.

00:02:53:19 - 00:03:28:20
Eric Moore
And I tried. So once I started getting out in the world, I started realizing, yeah, this is tiring. I can't keep up. But then professionally, in the world, I, I've worked with a lot of engineers, software developers, UX, UI designers, app designers, graphic designers. And the pattern emerged. Introvert. Introvert. Introvert. And I was able to connect with these individuals, on a meaningful level as their leader.

00:03:28:20 - 00:03:51:20
Eric Moore
As their manager. Where they felt like, oh, you actually understand? Just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I'm not valuable or. Yeah, because I don't talk to you every single day and ask you about, you know, you're hiking or your kids. Does it mean I can't be a good, coworker? And that's what has brought me to my mission.

00:03:51:22 - 00:04:12:06
Suzanne Taylor-King
Wow. So you actually lived this in the work environment? How did it affect you? You know, before you realized what was happening, how did it affect you as a leader?

00:04:12:08 - 00:04:39:12
Eric Moore
Painfully in that I saw a lot of really talented people get overlooked. Whether it was in a meeting, you know, they had really interesting ideas or, an idea that what could move something forward, whatever the thing was we were talking about in the meeting, you know, whether it's software code or a certain design decision. It wasn't really the issue.

00:04:39:12 - 00:05:03:13
Eric Moore
It was just, oh, they are too quiet and they would eat up and get overlooked for promotions and promotions. Doesn't always mean, hey, getting a bigger check. It just meant like, I wouldn't let so-and-so lead the project. And that's where it started to affect me. Like, okay, there's something going on here and I know I can help. Does that make sense?

00:05:03:15 - 00:05:42:02
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, it really does, because I noticed that in, you know, employing people in the past, who who typically jumped to the front of the line was usually the person who was more engaged verbally, energetically. Right. They were showing up with that thing I call charisma, you know, and if they had that, then it was kind of like they they got the spotlight of attention and those, those extroverted people.

00:05:42:04 - 00:06:06:16
Suzanne Taylor-King
I'm one of them. Then I had to learn not to talk as much when to, you know, I had to learn to be a better listener because I was always the talker. And no surprise, doing what I do now. Right. Being on stage, having a bike is not surprising, but I had to learn to be a better listener, so it was kind of like the opposite.

00:06:06:18 - 00:06:14:07
Suzanne Taylor-King
The introvert homework. What would you say is the superpower of the introvert?

00:06:14:09 - 00:06:18:11
Eric Moore
Well, before we get there, have I. Can I ask you a question?

00:06:18:13 - 00:06:19:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Sure.

00:06:19:13 - 00:06:29:02
Eric Moore
Yeah. How did you learn to become a better listener? Or better yet? What was the what was the trigger point for you to do that?

00:06:29:04 - 00:07:00:06
Suzanne Taylor-King
I think it was the amount of listening I was doing to my own negative chatter. It was kind of in the study of positive psychology and growth mindset years ago, and I kind of noticed that I was always talking in my own head. What I was going to say next, and it was just constant, whether it was negative feedback or just that constant chatter of somebody talking in my head.

00:07:00:08 - 00:07:33:16
Suzanne Taylor-King
And I knew I needed to learn that to to turn that off. If I was going to do anything positive growth mindset wise. So I think that was the beginning of being a better listener. Not listening to, someone else while I was planning what I was going to say next was key. And then in that process, it actually turned off the negative chatter in my own head.

00:07:33:16 - 00:08:00:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
The, you know, you're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You know, you can't do this. No no no no, no. And that running commentary, once I learned to channel that, turn that off, the space that was created was actually meant for listening. So I think it made me a better coach in the long run, because I did that work on myself.

00:08:00:10 - 00:08:04:04
Eric Moore
Amazing. I like that answer a lot.

00:08:04:06 - 00:08:05:18
Suzanne Taylor-King
Thank you.

00:08:05:20 - 00:08:29:17
Eric Moore
I just finished about a couple of months ago. Ethan Cross, his book chatter, which, yes, talks a lot about these concepts. And one of the things that I've adopted from his approach, not so much for listening, but when it comes to that negative self-talk or the inner thoughts, when I say your name.

00:08:29:19 - 00:08:30:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes.

00:08:30:13 - 00:08:44:16
Eric Moore
So, Eric, why'd you do that? You're so stupid. But what you're doing in that part is he's getting you to say, look, would you ever talk that way to a friend? Yeah. Likely not. So why are you doing it to yourself?

00:08:44:18 - 00:09:16:12
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, but I remember doing. I read a book called Positive Intelligence. Yeah. And did that program, it's called the PCU program. And it was actually a mindfulness program that taught you, you know, little techniques to be more mindful. And in the moment, you know, things like feeling your fingertips and being aware and slowing down that negative chatter with exactly that.

00:09:16:14 - 00:09:52:03
Suzanne Taylor-King
Would you ever talk to your child like that? Better yet, if you're dog person, would you ever talk to your dog like that? No. The way I talk to my dog is how I want to talk to him openly, you know? So I think that process and I think every entrepreneur should go through that. Every leader, every human should go through that process of learning to turn down the internal chatter so that the external world becomes more open to you.

00:09:52:05 - 00:09:54:18
Eric Moore
Amazing. I'm going to steal that one.

00:09:54:20 - 00:09:57:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Go ahead. Go ahead. Create it right here.

00:09:57:12 - 00:10:39:00
Eric Moore
Sorry. That's a great story. Suzanne, in that, you know, there was a trigger point for you, but it was around negative self-talk. And. Yeah, that's very helpful to me in understanding. So when I think about the introverts superpower, I think at first it's helpful to just say let's let's debunk submits. Like is it? The other day I had a friend, basically reaffirm some of the myths that still exist about introverts, which is, oh, we're antisocial, you just work in the corner and, you know, veg out, nerd out, whatever adjective you can think of.

00:10:39:02 - 00:11:05:05
Eric Moore
And that's not really the case. And the science has shown us, from the work of Susan Cain and Adam Grant and others, that it's about how we get energy in the world. We in essence, we have been reduced to a battery like in the Matrix. In fact, that look, I as an introvert, I'm happy to speak with you and be with you, but at some point I'm going to have to tap out and go recharge.

00:11:05:04 - 00:11:16:16
Eric Moore
but it is part of that myth, too. Yeah. You know, we're debunking the myths about an extrovert as well as that. You need to. I know there's an in-between.

00:11:16:16 - 00:11:48:06
Eric Moore
What we call an amber who can kind of float between being away and then being not quite the life of the party, but having that extra battery life, as it were. So what I would say the, the key superpower that I really enjoy sharing is I want you to picture someone first. Let's let's frame it as a story, and I want you to imagine, I don't know, we'll say Sarah and she's an introverted manager at a tech company.

00:11:48:12 - 00:12:04:04
Eric Moore
Surprise, surprise. Right. But during team meetings, she prefers to listen, to learn before she dictates any orders. Now, obviously, there's probably going to be an agenda.

00:12:05:02 - 00:12:38:18
Eric Moore
But for now, let's just assume they're brainstorming. Something's come up. There's a problem. And what introverts are listening for is, are we are we even on the same page? Should this even be a problem solving conversation? So what Charles do Higgs research shows in super communicators is a recent book is we have to first identify what conversation are we about to enter.

00:12:38:20 - 00:12:50:23
Eric Moore
And introverts are a a great, you know, approach to that, which is it's essentially deep, deep listening or active listening. But they're not waiting their turn to speak.

00:12:51:01 - 00:12:51:22
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes.

00:12:52:00 - 00:13:02:11
Eric Moore
So that to me is the superpower. It's like one. Do I even know what conversation I'm having? And then two. Let me wait in here. All the details first.

00:13:02:13 - 00:13:06:19
Suzanne Taylor-King
Do you think it's actually more purposeful. It sounds right.

00:13:06:21 - 00:13:08:03
Eric Moore
Yeah. That's a great word for it.

00:13:08:05 - 00:13:17:19
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. It feels like the way you describe it. And I love Charles Duhigg by the way I haven't read his new book yet so now I'm adding it.

00:13:17:21 - 00:13:20:05
Eric Moore
You got to use it.

00:13:20:07 - 00:13:52:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah I'm adding it to the list, but I, I think when we really think about what you just said, it's being more purposeful with a meeting. So is. Yeah. From that assumption, does it mean that introverts could actually be less fluff, more direct, more, I guess unwilling to deal with all of the extras? They want to just get to the point.

00:13:52:16 - 00:14:05:18
Eric Moore
Yes. There is research that shows that. But I think what you're asking and you keep me honest here, is that directness can turn people off.

00:14:05:20 - 00:14:06:18
Suzanne Taylor-King
It can?

00:14:06:20 - 00:14:07:14
Eric Moore
Yeah.

00:14:07:16 - 00:14:08:13
Suzanne Taylor-King
It can.

00:14:08:15 - 00:14:34:03
Eric Moore
But here's here's what some research shows from Adam Grant and his team. So back in 2008, like he was challenging this idea that, extroverts were only the natural born leaders. So he studied over a thousand different employees and different scenarios. And what he found was, yes, extroverts are good leaders and introverts are good leaders. But there were two conditions.

00:14:34:05 - 00:15:05:11
Eric Moore
Well, one for each one was that introverts are really exceptional leaders when they have proactive employees. In fact, be any types. Be boisterous. Go get them. You know, even introverts leading sales teams, which you would think you would want an extrovert. This is going to be controversial, but my read on the research is extroverts create followers, not doers.

00:15:05:12 - 00:15:32:17
Eric Moore
So extroverts are great for people who aren't really self-starters motivators. They want to be led. On the other hand, introverts already have proactive people in their midst. And they're willing to work for that introverted leader because they are listening first and then saying go and do as you please. And that directness shows up to some people as oh that's not assertive.

00:15:32:17 - 00:15:34:05
Eric Moore
You're being asshole.

00:15:34:06 - 00:15:36:13
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:36:15 - 00:15:42:16
Eric Moore
I know that was a long winded answer, but I, I hope that I hit it on the head for you.

00:15:42:18 - 00:16:08:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
I think so, and I think it makes sense to even a solo preneur. I have noticed that I'm not a details person. I'm a big picture thinker. Yeah. Vision. You know, I could design a business in 20 minutes and give you the marketing plan and how to do it, but I don't want to do it. Like, I don't know.

00:16:08:11 - 00:16:53:01
Suzanne Taylor-King
I don't want to do the work of it. I just want to come up with the idea. Yeah. And I noticed that the people that I've hired over the years, were the same because they resonated with me and I, when I was ready to hire a full time assistant, I had done enough homework on myself to realize I need to hire somebody who is detail oriented, micro task oriented, loves project management, and I could come up with a project and hand it off.

00:16:53:03 - 00:17:08:03
Suzanne Taylor-King
That was my dream, but I really had to know myself before I could have a team member that was like that. And I think that's really key to have you found the same with the leaders that you work with?

00:17:08:05 - 00:17:13:16
Eric Moore
Yes. Yeah. I you couldn't have said it more beautifully or succinctly,

00:17:13:16 - 00:17:18:15
Eric Moore
Knowing yourself means writing a hell yes and a hell no list.

00:17:18:16 - 00:17:20:04
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. Hell.

00:17:20:06 - 00:17:29:22
Eric Moore
I will do these things yet. Hell, no. I'm not going to do these things. I'm being clear on that. Hell, no. Oh, it's how you delegate or is a way to delegate.

00:17:30:00 - 00:17:30:22
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes.

00:17:31:00 - 00:17:37:02
Eric Moore
And so yes. To answer your question directly. Yes, I see, yeah. I encourage it.

00:17:37:04 - 00:17:42:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
I think that's amazing because the not to do list.

00:17:42:10 - 00:17:43:04
Eric Moore
Yes.

00:17:43:06 - 00:18:20:04
Suzanne Taylor-King
Is really. I remember doing it the first time, and I think it was from some Tony Robbins event because he's he's big on the not to do list. Oh, okay. And I was a health coach bringing my business online but very successful with an in-person business. And then, you know, bringing it online to expand my reach was so overwhelming, you know, from content and the Facebook group and, oh, I have to post every day and what do I need?

00:18:20:04 - 00:18:46:18
Suzanne Taylor-King
A podcast and a blog and a website and all of these things that everybody was telling me I needed. But none of those things. We're going to bring me clients. I thought I wasn't sure about this because of the way I did business in the past, and I was so overwhelmed with tasks that I forgot to keep meeting people and talking to them and connecting with them.

00:18:46:18 - 00:19:15:22
Suzanne Taylor-King
That that's how I had grown my business. And I made that not to do list. And it was so powerful for me, more powerful than any to do list ever, because it gave me that vision of where I want my business to be. And 15 years later, it's where I want it to be. Working three days a week with a full time assistant, making a difference for my clients.

00:19:16:03 - 00:19:56:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
Awesome. But my clients don't come from clicking a button on a page and buying a program with me. And I think as an extrovert, where I might be a little in between, I thought that speaking and being online was what was going to actually bring clients to me, and it was such a twist in my mindset when I finally realized, oh, it's still the conversations and it's still, talking to people.

00:19:56:16 - 00:20:18:13
Suzanne Taylor-King
So what advice? I mean, in this would go for a leader, it would go for a solopreneur. One advice to someone who's uncomfortable with those conversations. And I especially the difficult conversations. What's what's the advice there?

00:20:18:13 - 00:20:24:03
Eric Moore
there's a couple of things going on there because you're talking more. What I, at least I understood, is one part is public speaking.

00:20:24:09 - 00:20:26:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes. Public speaking.

00:20:26:13 - 00:20:32:22
Eric Moore
You know what I will tell you? That's a universal fear. You're an extrovert. An introvert.

00:20:33:00 - 00:20:33:19
Suzanne Taylor-King
Okay. Yeah.

00:20:33:21 - 00:20:59:06
Eric Moore
In my experience, in large part, nearly everyone I've met, it's like. Yep. I, I'm deathly afraid of speaking in public or some version or, I have a client who just has to prepare. Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. You know, listen to lip, talk to the mirror. Talk to anybody who will hear his speech.

00:20:59:08 - 00:21:06:00
Eric Moore
Before he'll even step on stage. Oh, I haven't met anyone yet. That's just like. Yeah, get me on stage. Let's go.

00:21:06:02 - 00:21:17:01
Suzanne Taylor-King
I am now I learned to do that. Learned to be excited about it. But it took a lot of practice.

00:21:17:03 - 00:21:32:22
Eric Moore
See. Yeah. And I'm not I and I'm not debating that someone can't get there. I've seen a lot of people go through media training and get that second nature. Yeah. But before any of that practice, it seems to be a universal fear.

00:21:33:00 - 00:21:42:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. What's that? What's the joke about? At a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.

00:21:42:13 - 00:21:44:05
Eric Moore
I've not heard that, but. Okay.

00:21:44:06 - 00:22:01:03
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, that's that's the joke. Like, if you if you had to choose, you know, public speaking at a funeral or being the one that's in the casket, which would you choose? And people say, oh my God. Like I don't want to be upfront. People.

00:22:01:04 - 00:22:16:00
Eric Moore
Yeah. So I'm, I don't really I have tips, but I'm not really an expert on public speaking like at XS or a Toastmasters. You know, that you probably couldn't learn easily online, which is part of it.

00:22:16:01 - 00:22:20:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
You know, in front of a boardroom. That's scary. That's scary.

00:22:20:14 - 00:22:29:04
Eric Moore
Exactly. Even in meetings. Just do it right. Yeah. A lot of my clients are just like, I just have team meetings that I'm afraid. Yeah.

00:22:29:06 - 00:22:29:21
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah.

00:22:29:23 - 00:22:53:21
Eric Moore
So for that a lot of times it's I just tell people no you're, you're s so you can figure out what the s word is. Know your stuff called. Meaning I try not to enter the conversation with feelings and emotions. You may have heard the term facts over feelings. And that's sometimes that's used in a negative context.

00:22:53:21 - 00:23:21:17
Eric Moore
But what I mean here is if you can stay focused on, what you're about to present. So Suzanne, let's say you're the boss and, you know, I'm on the lookout to you to deliver some latest details, data points about a campaign that we've ran. And if I internally am afraid because I see the numbers are not doing well, you're already bringing the emotion.

00:23:21:19 - 00:23:57:11
Eric Moore
Instead, just say the facts. Suzanne, we've looked at the latest campaign and we're below goal in three parts. And then stop talking. Wait seven seconds. That that sort of pregnant pause is a game changer for people who are nervous, afraid to speak up. Why? Because you're allowing the bug of the data to hit, but you're allowing the space for the person to receive the data, the message, and then they'll go,

00:23:57:13 - 00:24:11:17
Eric Moore
Okay. Why do you think that is? Then you unpack. Then. Over time, the speaker becomes comfortable because now they're given permission to speak on the things they know.

00:24:11:19 - 00:24:20:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
Well, I love I love the pause idea. You know, creating space sometimes is the hardest thing when you're nervous.

00:24:20:11 - 00:24:23:04
Eric Moore
Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:23:06 - 00:24:24:07
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah.

00:24:24:09 - 00:24:52:21
Eric Moore
Yeah. Very good. You just did it right there. But. And it happens to extroverts and introverts, which is we want to fill the space. Yeah. So the pause is always a great way to manage that excitement or fear that you have or anxiety. About speaking. Now, tough conversations, on the other hand, are a different story, but I don't want to move too fast ahead if I miss something.

00:24:52:22 - 00:25:27:02
Suzanne Taylor-King
No, the my only question is when you're nervous, when you're emotional about something. I think learning to slow your own thoughts or maybe it's even your body down. I know when I get nervous, I get kind of jittery inside. Yeah. What tips do you have for slowing that down? Maybe before a difficult conversation or during a mean for.

00:25:27:02 - 00:25:28:15
Suzanne Taylor-King
Could you help there?

00:25:28:17 - 00:25:30:05
Eric Moore
Yeah, there's there's.

00:25:30:05 - 00:25:32:02
Suzanne Taylor-King
Two.

00:25:32:04 - 00:25:39:21
Eric Moore
Go two methods that I like, one of which are what are called poly vagal exercises.

00:25:41:07 - 00:25:58:05
Eric Moore
You know the, the vagal vagus nerves or vagal nerves all run up through here. I'm not a doctor, so please, but what I've learned is doing butterfly techniques and tapping vagal nerve can help even pinching in between.

00:25:58:07 - 00:26:01:07
Suzanne Taylor-King
That's one of my favorites. Yeah.

00:26:01:09 - 00:26:22:02
Eric Moore
You had mentioned it before, which is, what can you see around you when we call it the name The Five? So what five colors do I see? What what five? Textures do I feel? What are five things that I smell if you have that many, if you can try to find, like I have a pink sticky note.

00:26:22:04 - 00:26:53:01
Eric Moore
Got a black microphone. You're slowing yourself down and using language in your brain internally to to get back to basics. And those are the two methods I like. Either it's a physical like calming down, or it's an internal dialog. Black keyboard, orange coffee cup. Oh. I smell the morning air. Those have helped me of myself in a number of my clients.

00:26:53:03 - 00:27:23:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
I like that I like the senses thing because you're drawing attention away from the nerve. Or the statement in your head. I got to give this talk on the down and so nervous or I don't know. Yeah. And you're drawing attention away from that. And I love smell for that. That's my personal favorite because I was an aroma therapist, for a hobby that was like what I did as a hobby.

00:27:23:16 - 00:27:48:00
Suzanne Taylor-King
And I love smells. And I'm very smell sensitive, so I could be in a room and notice, oh, somebody has a Cologne on that I really like, or somebody who's wearing a perfume that I really like. And, I could focus in on that smell and it would, you know, change my attention away from myself.

00:27:48:02 - 00:28:00:18
Eric Moore
Yeah, that's a great that's a great approach to being anxiety or, just. But I like that you enjoy smell, I do too. I have a infuser in my office that I have to. Yeah. Find a time.

00:28:00:23 - 00:28:30:06
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, I have a couple things. I have, an essential oil diffuser, and then I have some, you know, those read scent things that are always calming for me, too. I always go for calming sense because I tend to be a little overcaffeinated and hyper. So I need things to slow me down. And when I'm slower, the thoughts come easier.

00:28:30:06 - 00:29:06:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
Sure. I just got footage back from a talk I gave in May on stage, in person, and I rewatched it this morning, kind of critiquing the talk. And, I love the talk. I love the information. But I noticed a couple things that in the past would have been like, nope, not sharing that with anybody. Not not putting that out there.

00:29:06:16 - 00:29:40:20
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. And then I thought, I'm not having that feeling of insecurity. Right? I'm not. Wow. The information is more important than what my pants look like in the video. And I've noticed with my clients, and I'm curious about yours, that the visual of things like how how do I look in this moment? Do I look professional?

00:29:41:01 - 00:30:06:01
Suzanne Taylor-King
Do I am I dressed properly, like, am I going to make a first impression that's like, are they going to be staring at me or are they going to be looking at me? That insecurity piece right there is the number one thing to get past. Give a good presentation. You can't care about yourself. You have to care about the information more.

00:30:06:07 - 00:30:11:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
Have you found that same thing?

00:30:11:16 - 00:30:44:02
Eric Moore
Appearance specifically, you know, like clothing choices? Not necessarily. You know, although when people show up on camera, there's tips like don't wear patterns and, you allow jackets, little things like that. Usually what the question comes for me is, am I presentable in sort of auditory presence in my in my being professional? And I just simply ask them, can you even define those words?

00:30:44:04 - 00:30:45:12
Suzanne Taylor-King
Oh, I like that.

00:30:45:14 - 00:31:10:23
Eric Moore
Yeah. And like, yeah, it's like, well, I don't know what professional means. Okay. Well then you can't fail at a thing that you don't even know or can't define. So let's start there. And then I get them to think about, oh you know, well let's okay is professional okay. Great. Let's model her or you know pick said person and it usually gets them out of their head.

00:31:11:01 - 00:31:14:20
Eric Moore
Because really the fear comes down to a lack of clarity.

00:31:14:23 - 00:31:18:00
Suzanne Taylor-King
Most like I agree, I like.

00:31:18:04 - 00:31:21:05
Eric Moore
You have a definition of said thing, so therefore I'm going to fear it.

00:31:21:07 - 00:31:44:15
Suzanne Taylor-King
Right? Right. And most of the time, those definitions of professional or, you know, somebody who's a good presenter are made up in, in their own head and there's, there's not. You have to bring something tangible to it. I love, you know, you brought something tangible to it. Can we define that? Can we define what that means for you?

00:31:44:17 - 00:32:16:15
Suzanne Taylor-King
Really, really good. Joe is visiting us today, and she said, wonderful work with introverts. Just looked at your website. So Joe has been around me for years and years and years. And she just looked at your website because we're here talking today. That's amazing. Hi, Joe. Hi, Joe. Yeah. And, I just love bringing awesome people who do awesome things to other people.

00:32:16:17 - 00:32:30:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
And that's one of my superpowers. Not only connecting people, introducing people, of course, once I know them, but just this platform, being able to say. And Eric, we just met was less than a month ago.

00:32:30:13 - 00:32:31:15
Eric Moore
I think so, yeah.

00:32:31:17 - 00:33:14:02
Suzanne Taylor-King
And immediately there was an attraction to what you do. And I just thought, he needs he needs to be in front of more people. And if I can have that conversation with him, I know it would be really fun. And I that's just a feeling you get when you meet people. How can introverts be more comfortable meeting people, getting introduced to people and and being that more connected person and still, still within their, you know, introverted, boundaries.

00:33:14:02 - 00:33:19:17
Suzanne Taylor-King
It doesn't they don't have to have my boundaries with it. What does that look like?

00:33:19:19 - 00:33:59:00
Eric Moore
Yeah. Well, first, thank you for inviting me on. And yeah, it's great that we we connected quite quickly. And to all my introverts out there, my fellow, I'm trying to model this as best as I can for you. And that is reaching out to, you know, more lively people. Like, is a hand in, you know, more lively than than than I, so there's really two things that I think about that have not only helped me, but my clients get out there and stay authentic to their introverted self.

00:33:59:02 - 00:34:27:05
Eric Moore
Number one, ask open ended questions because you don't have to do all the talking. You know, introverts will talk once you get on a subject that they really enjoy. But to really ease into that, if you're at a networking or a mixer of some sort, you know, it's saying, you know, instead of asking somebody, well, what do you do?

00:34:27:07 - 00:34:48:23
Eric Moore
And you get that really wrote pitch. Yeah, I do x for X by this time in this date and I've served this many people. And at that point you're checked out instead. Hey, Suzanne, what do you love the most about what you do? And it makes it more about Suzanne and the other person, and she'll go into it.

00:34:49:01 - 00:35:10:06
Eric Moore
Yeah. And then you start to ease up because as, as, you know, the introvert superpowers that deep listening. So they're listening and they're going, tell me more about that, Suzanne. So what's happening here is you're giving room to the other person and you as the introvert, you're not having to carry the conversation.

00:35:10:08 - 00:35:13:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
Oh, I like that.

00:35:13:11 - 00:35:43:17
Eric Moore
Yeah. And so part two is now it's your turn to talk. Watch out for verbal processing. Yeah. And this happens on both sides of extrovert. Introvert. But there are people who just have to think out loud while they speak. They're instances where that makes sense, particularly if you're problem solving. But try to be as clear as you can about the very thing you want to talk about.

00:35:43:17 - 00:36:01:08
Eric Moore
Now, that might you might not always have that particularly argument in a extemporaneous situation, like you're at a party and you get thrown for a loop at a certain question. What I found with introverts, because they like to prepare so much, just be clear. De where do you want that conversation to go?

00:36:01:08 - 00:36:28:14
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, I like the intentionality of that piece again. Because deciding what you want, the outcomes of conversations to be beforehand can be very calming. Yeah. Going into a meeting yesterday, I had prepared for the meeting some notes, some questions, shared it with the other people that we're going to be in this brainstorming session, per se.

00:36:28:15 - 00:36:39:15
Suzanne Taylor-King
And that's like me. That's what I do. Here's my thoughts. Here's my questions. Add to the document, and then it'll be a productive, you know, meeting with four people.

00:36:39:17 - 00:36:40:07
Eric Moore
Yeah.

00:36:40:09 - 00:37:03:02
Suzanne Taylor-King
And I think deciding outcomes beforehand okay. So if we're going to go into this meeting, what are three incredible outcomes that could happen from having this meeting? We develop a partnership. They hire me and this is internal. This is just for me.

00:37:03:03 - 00:37:03:20
Eric Moore
Yeah.

00:37:03:21 - 00:37:35:05
Suzanne Taylor-King
We have a partnership or they hire me or we share ideas, they go on their way, and I go on my way. That's still great. We share ideas because I love to do that. And so deciding those three outcomes before that conversation put me in a more intentional space during the conversation. Guardrails per se of the conversation. And and I, I love free flow conversation like we're doing.

00:37:35:07 - 00:37:54:19
Suzanne Taylor-King
But I also, if you only have an hour for a meeting or you only have 20 minutes for a meeting, guardrails are so important. And it sounds to me through this whole conversation that introverts might have that super power really dialed in.

00:37:54:21 - 00:38:02:15
Eric Moore
Yeah, yeah, I, I like the use of guardrails, but I actually I use the, the, the metaphor of the sandbox.

00:38:03:13 - 00:38:29:20
Eric Moore
Particularly when it comes to meetings. Sandbox rules says simply this you're in a sandbox, you can build whatever you want. You just can't go out of the box. And those four corners can be the agenda items, the intentionality, the outcomes, the goals. But, you know, there's times where you just need to have a free flow. And there, you know, whether it's the introvert or the extrovert there has to be a time cop.

00:38:29:22 - 00:38:55:01
Eric Moore
Yes. Okay. We're at the 15 minute mark. We've kind of exhausted that. Let's move on to sandbox side number three I like I'm keeping in that metaphor. So I try to be mindful of the fact that, we don't want to constrict meaningful dialog. But that's when the sandbox comes in. Or guardrails.

00:38:55:03 - 00:39:28:05
Suzanne Taylor-King
I like that. I like that a lot. Great. I can tell from everything we talked about today that you have a system that you follow with people, which is really attractive to me as a coach. I love systems, I love processes like it's just, oh, I like that. What is the number one thing that you do first with clients and then tell me a little bit about that process.

00:39:28:07 - 00:39:30:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
Where do you start with people?

00:39:30:11 - 00:39:40:17
Eric Moore
Well, be careful. I love systems too. But to me, coaching is a powerful conversation.

00:39:40:19 - 00:39:41:16
Suzanne Taylor-King
Good.

00:39:41:18 - 00:39:59:04
Eric Moore
I gotta make sure you're auditioning me as much as I'm auditioning you. And I want to be able to serve you powerfully in that moment. Now, you can define powerfully in a number of ways, but I just have to show up. And the system is simple.

00:39:59:06 - 00:40:01:00
Suzanne Taylor-King
Listen good.

00:40:01:02 - 00:40:06:21
Eric Moore
Ask interesting questions, or I forget the author's name, but ask beautiful questions.

00:40:07:02 - 00:40:08:04
Suzanne Taylor-King
Beautiful questions.

00:40:08:08 - 00:40:10:12
Eric Moore
Beautiful question.

00:40:10:14 - 00:40:11:16
Suzanne Taylor-King
I like.

00:40:11:18 - 00:40:35:19
Eric Moore
That's my only system in the beginning. What question is going to not only spark a meaningful conversation, but signals that, oh, Eric's not messing around. He he wants you to be a better person. And whatever that form is beautiful.

00:40:35:19 - 00:40:49:20
Suzanne Taylor-King
I believe that same thing about coaching. I believe that it's, you know, this trust based relationship come without the things you've just said in the beginning.

00:40:49:21 - 00:41:06:00
Suzanne Taylor-King
You really can't establish that relationship. So I'm sure that your clients, stick around with you for a long time afterwards to, once they love Eric, they stick around.

00:41:06:02 - 00:41:08:23
Eric Moore
Yeah, well, I'm glad you're able to connect with that.

00:41:09:01 - 00:41:09:16
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah.

00:41:09:18 - 00:41:10:20
Eric Moore
Oh, powerful.

00:41:10:22 - 00:41:41:19
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah, it really is. Yeah, it's kind of leaving me with a pause of my own, so. Really good. All right, well, let's wrap up. This has been an amazing, amazing conversation. I just think that you are such an incredible coach, an incredible leader, and so needed in the world. Loved our conversation today. How can my listeners get in touch with you, follow you, and absorb more goodness?

00:41:41:21 - 00:42:04:05
Eric Moore
Yeah. Before I get to that though, I you it's been good to have you in my life. Now, you given me faith back in the humanity, as it were. And, I've been intentional in being selective who I put in my life and who I do not. And I'm glad that we had this conversation.

00:42:04:07 - 00:42:05:11
Suzanne Taylor-King
Same.

00:42:05:13 - 00:42:19:11
Eric Moore
Yeah. Thank you. So most of where I can be reached is, on X and LinkedIn. Okay. All right. Am I supposed to say formerly known as Twitter?

00:42:19:13 - 00:42:25:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
I don't know, I'm not sure what to say. I know sparks. That goes.

00:42:25:10 - 00:42:32:00
Eric Moore
X is I'm, at lead quietly. LinkedIn. I'm sure you might have the link there, but.

00:42:32:00 - 00:42:33:09
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yeah. So I'm going to share that.

00:42:33:11 - 00:42:52:13
Eric Moore
Yeah. But yeah, reach out to me. My website has a contact info. You know, I'm open to any kind of conversation. DM and LinkedIn and or X and having conversations like this is what lights me up.

00:42:52:15 - 00:43:22:10
Suzanne Taylor-King
I love that I, I love the fact that. You can have conversations like this, you can deepen relationships with other people. I mean, because really, at a really high level, I call myself a coach. You call yourself a coach. And we could actually refer clients to each other. We could actually work with the same client because we do something totally different.

00:43:22:12 - 00:43:43:15
Suzanne Taylor-King
And being open to that in itself has opened up more doors for me in business over the last 15 years as a coach than anything else. So I want to encourage that, get to know people. You'll have the same label as you, and don't be afraid of that.

00:43:43:17 - 00:43:47:18
Eric Moore
Yeah, coach kind of gets a bad rap, doesn't it?

00:43:47:20 - 00:44:20:21
Suzanne Taylor-King
It does sometimes. And I made I made a post the other day that was kind of funny about coaches who coach coaches, who coach coaches and that, that circle, kind of felt weird. And how can we break out of that? We need to be able to refer more business to each other and stay in our lane about what our zone of genius is, and that's that's been the homework for a long time with many of the coaches I've worked with.

00:44:20:23 - 00:44:48:15
Eric Moore
Yeah, I heard recently from one of the coaches, more more I don't you want to say famous or popular coach? Rich, rich Litvin. And he says, you know, it's easier to say coaching is just a tool to. Yes. Yeah, but I'm your thought partner. I'm your advisor, your your trusted advisor. But yeah, it's sometimes it's hard to get past that label and really show the value that you bring.

00:44:48:17 - 00:45:05:18
Suzanne Taylor-King
Yes, yes. Well, we'll have many more conversations on that, I'm sure. Thank you again for being here today. Appreciate you. And thank you, everyone, for tuning in to another Friday episode of Unlock Your Way With SDK. We'll see you next week.

00:45:05:19 - 00:45:33:13
Suzanne Taylor-King
Thank you for tuning in to another empowering episode of Unlock Your Way. I hope you found today's discussion inspiring, and you're ready to take your business and personal growth to that next level. If you're feeling is fired up as I am and eager to unlock that full potential, I'm here to help you on your journey and provide that personalized guidance tailored to your unique goals and challenges.

00:45:33:15 - 00:46:00:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
Simply book a one on one coaching call with me, and we'll dive deep into your business aspirations and see how we could co-create a roadmap for your success. And whether you're striving to scale an enterprise size or just getting started. I'm here to support you every step of the way. To schedule your coaching call, simply visit the website and unlock your way with SI.com.

00:46:00:10 - 00:46:39:08
Suzanne Taylor-King
Click on the Book a Call button and we'll turn your dreams into that reality. Subscribe and review on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube. Plus, you can join over 800 entrepreneurs in the Idea Lab, Facebook group. Let's make success as an entrepreneur happen together. Until next time, I'm AK. Keep dreaming big. Stay focused. And most of all, have fun while you're doing it.